Sometimes I think my own biggest personal challenge in Peace Corps is being at peace with my current position. I think volunteers straight from college have a somewhat easier time, because they haven't quite settled in a life yet, but as a person who quit a job and left a more settled life it's been hard. During my time in Peace Corps I have missed the weddings of family and friends, the births of babies by some of my closest friends, job transitions, and new house purchases. I still have yet to meet my nephew who will turn two in July! As a person who loves to plan it has sometimes been extremely painful to see my friends and family moving forward with their lives while I have felt stuck in my position. It's challenging because after working quite a few years after college I felt comfortable working towards particular goals; in my job I knew what sales goals I was working toward and positive reviews with the goal of being promoted. In my personal life, I spent a lot of time building relationships with friends and working on sports training: becoming more flexible in yoga, building muscle and continuing to run races. My goals in Romania are more obtuse. My Peace Corps program goals are teaching English and sharing American culture, but it sometimes feels hard to understand what I am working towards in a more long term sense. There are no promotions, 401K plans or pay raises in Peace Corps. There are no assurances for the future. After 27 months, I will leave with a small resettlement allowance, one month of free healthcare and my memories.
Sometimes this prospect is incredibly overwhelming as I have no idea what I'll be doing after Peace Corps and after missing so many turning points in the lives of my friends and family it is hard to know exactly how I will fit in. However, there are moments when I create new memories that help move me forward and realize that throughout the challenges I have had I have also been incredibly fortunate to have some amazing experiences. Today I was chatting online with one of the daughters of my host mom during my training and she wrote, "credeam ca americanii sunt niste oameni ,,altfel" dar mi-am dat seama ca sunt foarte ok,sentimentali si foarte sociabili!" which roughly translated means, "I thought Americans were different people, but I realized there are very fine, sentimental and very sociable!" My group of volunteers was the first group of Americans that they had ever interacted with and I can feel proud leaving this little legacy behind me and moving forwards toward the unknown.
